just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
