I think I am morally bankrupt
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
It's blow job season.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
