i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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