we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Randomize
