Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
