i think my tv is drunk
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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