why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
