I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
