I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
