I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
