these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Randomize
