and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
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