The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
