He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
These tits shall not be calmed
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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