I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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