Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize