Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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