big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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