I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
