what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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