what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Randomize
