He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Randomize
