exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize