careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
