You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
