I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I smell like Dick and happiness
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
