why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
