I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
