This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
