you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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