we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
