I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
