My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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