i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
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