And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
it was like having sex with a tree stump
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
