I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
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