At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
