Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
