Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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