3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
