how do flat chested girls get laid?
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Randomize
