I need help removing her.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Randomize
