Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
As shirtless as possible
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
