I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
The air taste purple.
Randomize
