HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
