You really coming over, don't trick.
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
