question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
