My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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