so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
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