i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
