Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize