I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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