Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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