He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Randomize
