And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
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