You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Randomize
