Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize
