that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
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