just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
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