The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
