She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
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