On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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