we're chasing vodka with high fives
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Randomize
