I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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