Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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