these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
