dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
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