he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
