nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize